One of my friends had a particularly hard time making decisions.  He didn’t want to miss out on opportunities, he didn’t want to disappoint anyone, and he usually was conflicted about even what he himself wanted.  The other three of us got a poster and put it up in his room that read, “Not to decide is to decide.”  We wanted to emphasize (in our exasperation) that putting off making a decision was in itself a decision.

Though our putting off making decisions is probably not as pronounced as my friends, it is a common tool we use to get around directly saying “No” to God.  How many of us feel God nudging us to change and grow but we have the excuse of putting it off.  That is the issue in today’s gospel reading.  Jesus invites people to follow him but they respond that they can’t now but will later.  And presumably, like us, they really mean it.

Most of us have had occasions when we felt called to get more involved volunteering to make the lives of others or society as a whole better.  But then we thought about how busy we were.  We pledge that when we finally complete our education, then we will.  Then we pledge for after our careers are established, marriage relationship is sound, young children no longer need rides, children are out of the house, we retire, etc.  Sincerely we pledge someday but without directly choosing to we postpone it indefinitely.  We do the same when moved to contribute to a worthy effort financially.  We again pledge to be more generous as soon as we have a good job, buy a car, pay off student loans, get a house, pay for our children’s education, pay for a vacation home, have enough money to retire, etc.  Again we sincerely want to be generous but get comfortable putting it off indefinitely.  Even calls from God for personal growth get put off.  We know we are short-tempered, hold grudges, have addictive habits that hurt ourselves and others, do not have good relationships with spouses and other important people in our lives; and the awareness of our weakness are calls by God to grow and change.  But that too we can put off.  We realize we really ought to focus on our personal issues and maybe even seek help.  Then we call to mind how stressed we already are and imagine that day when there will be less going on in our lives and we’ll have more energy to face our issues.  Again that imagined stress-free time never arrives.

Sadly we really want to be generous with time and resources.  We do sincerely want to grow and have good relationships.  But we fool ourselves.  Since we haven’t directly said “No” and we don’t realize that we are nonetheless refusing God’s invitation.  It seems to us we are saying, “Yes, just not right now.”

The key is to say “Yes” now.  We don’t need to give all our financial resources, commit 40 hours a week, or focus only on our need for personal growth.  But if we put off beginning, it so often never gets started.  If we feel God is calling us to respond, what would be a first step?  We could volunteer for a one time event, add a little more to what we are presently giving, or maybe spend a half hour alone with God.  But responding now is the key.  God is calling us to follow him more closely now.  Let us ask for the courage and strength we need to respond now.