Father Rick Bolte's Homily

C: 11th SUNDAY OF ORDINARY TIME

In the first reading we may miss how remarkable it was for King David to admit he had sinned. He was king, the supreme ruler; there was no one on earth who had the power to judge him for anything he might do. It was not unusual for a king to have someone killed for personal reasons and many kings had affairs with other men’s wives. An attack, even a verbal one, would be considered treason. The image of the king and his respectability were necessary for the kingdom. At his word the troops needed to go to battle, he was the one the whole kingdom would rally around in times of emergency. To point out his faults could hurt all under his reign. For Nathan to even have pointed out David’s sin was to risk his life.

We don’t easily admit our sin and faults either. Though we readily admit that we are not perfect, we generally avoid specifics. We deploy far more energy explaining why we are not guilty of the things our consciences accuse us of. We are still stuck in the idea that to be loved and accepted means somehow being good enough. We feel compelled to maintain our image and explain away our guilt.

One of the most common ways to deny our guilt is to state that everybody does it. “Doesn’t everybody cheat a little bit on their income taxes? Doesn’t everybody skip Mass now and then? Doesn’t everybody pick up a little something they need from work?” We can add to this our dislike for government, church, or work and how they deserve our behavior.

It’s easy to justify things when we feel others have taken advantage of us or hurt us. If we bump into another car in the parking lot, we justify driving off without even looking by recalling when our car was damaged or some other time when our property was damaged.

Another method of guilt avoidance is to simply say, “I didn’t mean it.” Though that would never be enough for others to say to us when they hurt us, we may often use it to absolve ourselves. This is often said when we are gossiping. “We didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings or to embarrass them. We were just repeating what we heard and believed was true.”

There’s a sense of relief when we know we did something we shouldn’t have but got away with it. If we are in a different city on a business trip and no one there knew who you really were, you hope you behavior and the guilt will be forgotten. If you drive home from a party after drinking too much for driving, there is relief when we’ve made it and again we dismiss our guilt for the joy of having gotten away with it.

We also deny guilt if only we get hurt by our behavior. If we drink too much, smoke, use other drugs improperly, over eat, or use pornography we ask, “Where’s the sin; I didn’t hurt anybody else?” We forget that we have a responsibility to others and how we treat ourselves does matter. And there’s always the good excuse, “He or she made me mad.” or “I was in a hurry.”

We begin every Mass calling to mind our sin. This isn’t about trying to put ourselves down nor is it with the expectation that we somehow should be without sin. In today’s gospel we hear the line, “But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.” The purpose of calling to mind our sin is to be in contact with the experience of being loved by God while we are sinners. For us to appreciate the love of God, we need to know how it is a gift. True love is not what we are good enough to deserve, it is about a gift freely given that we do not deserve. This is God’s power over sin. When we can accept this love, we begin to be transformed. God’s goodness calls forth our and our true selves dares to come forth. Not a perfect self but a loved self. This empowers us to love more deeply and so our sin decreases. Yet we are always far from perfect especially when we dare to compare our love to God’s. Thus we always come to Mass as sinners but growing ever more aware of how we are loved and empowered to love more.

This begins by our admitting our sin and guilt. This is part of the gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Let us dare to truly admit our sin especially to ourselves (just listen honestly to our conscience) and come to know the unconditional love of God.