Today’s gospel reading seems like a simple story.  It appears to emphasize Jesus’ connection to his Father, a connection that will enable him to be confident in the Father’s love for him and to be resolute in his mission.  Almost accidentally it teaches us something about the Holy Family, something most of us overlook.

We’ve heard from Paul’s letter that Jesus was “like us in all things but sin” and indeed this is often repeated even in the penitential rite.  The end of today’s gospel reading says that Jesus returned with his parents to Nazareth where he grew in wisdom.  That Jesus had to grow in wisdom means that he was like us, he didn’t know everything and do everything perfectly.  An important message here is that Jesus truly was like us, he had to learn and gain wisdom from mistakes.

Today’s gospel tells a story of Jesus making a big mistake.  Accepting Jesus as God, we too easily accept Jesus’ excuse for staying behind in Jerusalem as if his parents should have known where he was.  But let’s look at the story as it’s told to us.  We’re told that Jesus and Mary and Joseph went to Jerusalem for the Passover every year.  Travel was usually on foot and was dangerous.  There were often thieves waiting for people in small enough groups for them to take advantage of.  Kidnapping of people to be sold as slaves was not uncommon.  People from a village, usually all related through their extended families, would often travel together as a large group.  This year, when Jesus is twelve years old, they again travel to Jerusalem for the Passover.  Twelve year old boys were expected to be more responsible than they typically are today.  As they leave Jerusalem, Mary and Joseph presume that he would be among the relatives from their village.  During that first day of travel, they search among the relatives for Jesus, but he’s not there.  We’re told that with “great anxiety” they search for Jesus.  They are jeopardizing their own safety and they worry about what may have happened to Jesus.  When they find him three days later, Jesus seems unaware or unconcerned about the anxiety he has put his parents through.

Perhaps we can take some consolation in knowing that the Holy Family was not perfect in every way just as ours are not.  Jesus came with no instruction book for how to teach him and deal with him just as our children do not.  Parenting is an art, not a science.  There were pains and struggles along the way in the Holy Family just as in our families.  To imitate the Holy family is not to expect some sort of perfection where everyone gets along perfectly all the time.

So what does the Holy Family show us that we might want to model?We’re told that “Mary kept all these things in her heart.  In every family, between both parent and child and between spouses, there is conflict and misunderstanding.  A successful marriage and family does not require that everyone be similar in interests and temperament nor that each person be able to understand the actions of the other.  What Mary shows us is that she held her family and its struggles in her heart, a place of love.  No family is perfect in compatibility and understanding but every family is capable of holding each other in their hearts.